What if I were to tell you that you could be the proud owner of a PLANE CAR? Awesome, right? Now, what if I were to tell you that it will cost a solid $350,000? (it's true,
you can) Well, if you've been a part of the human race for any amount of time in the last century, then you would say, "Charge It"-- Because the only thing better than owning a Flying Car
, or this, or even especially this, is having the ability to purchase them when you don't even have the money.
INTERESTING FACT: Being in debt is second on the list of primal human urges. (Lying, procrastination, anxiety, and regret round up the top 5. Scientists have yet to prove if there is any correlation between them.)
INTERESTING FACT II: Some say the word "debt" itself, is the reason people take it so lightly. It looks made up-- or at the very least, got a 'b' enhancement.
I'm no scientist, but if I were, I'd publish one of those studies that science-types usually publish. And it would probably be in some "academic journal" called THE EFFECTS AND CONSEQUENCES OF DEBT AND MATERIAL GOODS ON THE HUMAN BRAIN. In that study, I would illustrate how the dopamine levels in the brain, spike considerably when you find something that you can't have, but increase tenfold from that, the second you realize there is nothing you can't have. Almost inspirational, right? It doesn't take a scientist to figure that out...
Ever since the primitive barter system of early man, humanity has always tried to go for the 'long con':
"UG. TRADE TWO SHINY PEBBLES FOR ONE GOAT NOW. UG. WILL PROVIDE THIRTY MORE SHINY PEBBLES WHEN HIGH TIDE BRINGS THEM IN. I SWEAR. UG."
And so it goes. Life continued in a perpetual state of "borrowing" until today, when I promised Amazon.com that I would pay them in full for that AS SEEN ON TV Snuggie with built-in lightsaber. Maybe I will, maybe I won't. All I know is that I'm sitting here with the World at my fingertips, Fort Knox in my wallet, and that I now owe some ancient Neanderthal thirty shiny pebbles (plus interest), because of a bad deal he made with another ancient Neanderthal. (Negotiations are ongoing, but it's not looking good for him, because in the game of Monopoly, the only winner is the one with the most properties, invested in with the most fake money.)
For more excuses to trade in your hard-earned credit score for some sweet, sweet merch, you better check out all of life's great treasures that are just an expiration date & 3-digit security code away.
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